My memoir is “in production” as the publishers say, which means it is well past time for me to wake up to the fact that This Is Really Happening. In fact, it is ahead of schedule now and due to be published on March 21st, just three weeks away! So without further ado, here is one more endorsement that I received from a very gracious reader:
“This book is a must read for anyone interested in understanding the experience of Parental Alienation from the perspective of the child. The author’s first-hand account of how manipulation can be used by adults to undeservedly turn a child against a parent they love and intentionally sever familial bonds eliminates any doubt that Parental Alienation is a form of emotional child abuse with life-long impact. I’m grateful this book has been written, because the best chance parents and children affected by alienation have of finding their way back to each other is when those who once had no choice and no voice speak up.“
— Doris Newlun, child advocate and targeted parent
See you next Monday!
I’ve spent a fair amount of time lately getting various things in order so that I can fully focus on my memoir revisions. There is something about having my home, calendar and to-do list in good order that frees up my mind to write.
Doing deep work requires we stay in the moment. I don’t know about you, but loose ends tend to pull me right out of the moment. I feel fully prepared for this week of diving right in and doing the work to the best of my ability.
Last week I shared a blurb written for my book https://danalaquidara.com/2023/02/13/minimal-monday-46/
And as promised, here is another one:
“Dana’s book is a moving story of alienation from the child’s point of view. It is heartbreaking to see her try to make sense of the trauma she was subjected to as a girl. Everyone who works with children of divorce should read this book so they understand why a child may not “admit” to wanting to see a beloved parent and how loyalty conflicts can last well into adulthood.”
–Ginger Gentile, Director of the Erasing Family Documentary and Creator of Reversing Parental Alienation Consulting
In another month or so, I will be getting my manuscript back from the publisher and will have a week to make the requested changes. During that week, I imagine myself hiding away in order to fully concentrate on the revisions. That act of complete focus on one project is a luxury and a gift in modern times. I somehow feel both intimidated by the task and elated at the thought of it. Do you know what I mean?
In the meantime, each week I will share one the blurbs I’ve received for my memoir, YOU-KNOW-WHO. Here’s the first one:
Family custody stories invariably focus on the dramas surrounding real-time battles over children, the tug-of-war syndrome. But what of the long-term effects? And how those effects shape those same children long into adulthood? In YOU-KNOW-WHO, Dana Laquidara chronicles a different kind of trauma, the time-released microbursts that continue to resonate not for years but for decades. The author’s mother was exiled from her life when she was just four years old (and the child’s life was “cleaved into before and after,” as Laquidara so searingly writes), long before academic and legal studies into Parental Alienation had gained traction. It has taken the author a lifetime to process, to understand, to heal. Her journey is one that she recounts with skill and compassion and boundless love.
–William J. McGee, author of HALF THE CHILD, a novel about child custody and abduction
There are several different types of clutter, and one that we don’t talk a lot about is emotional clutter.
Emotional energy is designed to move through the body, and with light emotions like joy, peace, and love, they do. Those feelings are easy to feel, so there is no reason to supress them.
But we tend to want to avoid or suppress the denser, heavier emotions of fear, grief, anger, or other unpleasant feelings, some of them being a result of trauma. Where do those emotions go if we consciously or unconsciously deny them? They settle into the body of course.
I cringe to think of all the things that are said to prevent people from feeling their feelings, such as Be a big boy (or girl) and don’t cry, Leave the past behind (without processing it), Don’t be so sensitive, Distract yourself with this, and Stay silent (this one isn’t said outright, but is communicated covertly). It’s no wonder there are a lot of clogged up humans walking around.
Emotional clutter compromises our energy, our happiness, and our physical and mental health. I cannot think of a worse kind of clutter to have. So while we are clean -eating and clean-sweeping, and clearing our calendars, we can’t forget to breath, get out of our heads, resist all the available distractions, and allow all the feels to come through.